Rain clouds

I’m being nudged out of my nest

I know this because I found a bag.

I found it outside a shop

and the man said,

“just take it for free”

And in the sky I don’t see a clear sign
telling me where I should go
But behind me the dark clouds are coming in
I know I must take my empty bag
and keep moving

A new day

I wonder why I  never wake up to see this time of the morning. It’s enchanting. The silence, the soft light, the way nothing invades your privacy or your space. It’s just me in this world of sky. It’s just me in the cool. I’m jet lagged and famished and it’s 5 a.m.

I’m so happy to be here. I’m so happy to hear a new accent and to see new architecture. I’m happy to have my best friend here and my boyfriend nearly here. I’m happy to have something familiar. I’m happy to know my way to the nearest coffee shop.

I thought about how I feel about America. I thought, if America was a person, she’d be someone I’d met through a friend or an aquaintance that I could have a surface conversation with but that I didn’t really click with. America is like a friend I wouldn’t really keep in touch with or pursue a relationship with. America isn’t good at keeping secrets. She’s that person in the crowd that you feel like you know everything about after 5 minutes of loud conversation. There are other countries like India or New Zealand that you think, “wow that person is cool, I wonder what she’s thinking?” London kind of draws you in like that. I feel like if London was a person we’d have a good laugh and exchange e-mail addresses. But I’ve only been here a little over a week so we’ll see.

As of this morning. I’m happy and content and wondering what the rest of the day has in store for me. Maybe a pint at a pub with a friend who I feel like I can be myself with. That thought makes me smile. Goodmorning London.

Professional goodbyes and other travel observations

None of us says a word, we can’t talk about the obvious and we don’t like small talk. So we sit on the way to the airport in general silence.

 Packing: Something that must be done alone.

 If you pack with a friend helping it’s way too permanent. Most people get subconsciously moody and jittery before departing or leaving a loved one, I know I do. Most things test my patience or make me want to cry. To prevent unnecessary tention, friends like us sit down with a cup of herbal tea and paint each other’s nails.

Step one to a professional goodbye : ignore the inevitable.

From the minute you arrive till the second you board the aircraft you do NOT under any circumstances, broach the subject. You just don’t go there. You learn how to travel with your friends whether they’re there or not. You take them in a camera, or a letter, or a gift. You write them on your heart. Thank you Rebekah Sardar, friend of my youth, for just getting it. I take you with me wherever I go.

I was told by a good friend that I’m the kind of person who ignores the safety talk on airplanes. He’s right, I’m doing that as we speak. I’m hearing the lady blah-de-blah in the background. I mainly just observe how white her teeth are and how her hair is pinned back way too tightly to her head. Honestly, I wonder how many airhostesses are bald by the time they’re 40. Just an observation. It amuses me how they think they’re keeping it all together when I can see that seething look in their eyes as they hand out drinks and answer the millionth dumb question. Airhostesses stop being nice when you hit puberty. I remember first realising I was no longer a child. I was flying back from South Africa and the airhostess didn’t offer me crayons and a stuffed toy. Life changing moments thousands of feet up in the air.  I’m sure though, that the safety instructions are so deeply imbedded in my subconsious that in the event of an accident I’d probably be able to at least find a life-jacket. They don’t really tell you that in the unlikely event of an accident you are unlikely to survive. On this particular aircraft, in the event of an accident you are told to hold on to your seat cushions. Very comforting. So you see, I don’t worry. I’m also the kind of person who pays absolutely no attention to unimportant information. Some people would view such information as vital, like times, dates, fight itinerary etc. but it just doesn’t register in my head. For instance, until a few hours before flying out of Indiana I had no idea what time we were leaving, what flight we were on, where we stopped over or where we were arriving. I was up in the air with no idea when I’d feel the ground beneath my feet again, it’s exhillerating.

That would explain why we arrived at exactly the opposite side of the airport to where we had to be, ran as fast as we could to gate number 8 and were the last two people on the aircraft. I live for moments like that.  I like to keep the space in my head clear from unnecessary information until exactly the right moment.

Embroidery and things

There’s something like this inside all of us I think, something colourful and fresh and new, something that’s never been done before. After the inspiring cards we walked into an embroidery shop. There were two very eccentric old ladies pottering around. I’ve never seen two  ladies more passionate about embroidery, I just asked them about a pattern and that was that, they bought out the colours and the canvas and the patterns and set me up for my first embroidery experience. I felt like I was being sent on some wild journey, everything had to be chosen with care, the colours perfectly matched. What looked daunting became easy, never thought I’d enjoy this so much. So this is dedicated to my niece who I adore already, it’s a work in progress but I’ll allow you to see it that way.

Things that inspire

My mom and I were shopping with a friend in a quaint little town called Placerville. We walked into a shop that was full of soap and nice smelling things. In the middle of the shop was a card rack with cards by an artist named Susan Mrosek. I looked through a few of them and found myself laughing and sighing and pulling funny faces. I called my mom over to look and we were hooked, we later described that as a spiritually defining moment. As funny as that sounds it’s true, I can’t really put into words how inspired and enlightened I was by a collection of cards in a funny shop on a funny street in the middle of America.

Susan Mrosek says what other people don’t dare to. She views life from mad angles and splashes her views on paper cards to make us all gasp and laugh and splutter. Here is one that describes how I feel today:

http://www.ponderingpool.com/p_pool/icons/page1.html